chilli vodka villi and codka
by darasun
Summary: A strange occurence leaves Max in Alec's body and Alec in Max's...what kind of mischief will they get up to? M/A
1. faerie bread 1

The day was ordinary, and for Seattle, that usually meant rainy. Alec walked into Jam pony with a slight bounce to his swagger. Normal raised an eyebrow at him as he walked past.  
  
"Hey, hey! What is this? Bip, bip, bip. These packages don't deliver themselves.you too missy miss," As Normal spotted Max walking in casually through the door " considering you're...10 minutes late, you should be appreciative you still have a job to be late TO..."  
  
"Check your watch Normal. I'm right on time."  
  
Normal looked at his watch and then turned to Alec.  
  
"What time do you have?"  
  
"Eh..."  
  
Alec mentally tried to decide whose side to take. One, there's normal, who would probably give Alec only a few packages in sector four to deliver because he proved Max wrong.  
  
But on the other hand..Max, who would kick his ass.  
  
Hm. Difficult choice...Not.  
  
"Nah she's right. You're 10 minutes fast."  
  
Max cocked her head and gave Alec a warming smile, then waving to OC before jogging there.  
  
"That one is dangerous golden boy. Keep away from her.I remember the oth- wait a second!" He shoved some packages into his arms. "Packages! Bip, Bip, Bip!"  
  
Alec pretended to frown.  
  
"I thought we were having a bonding experience Normal...I thought we were onto something great...I thought we could become friends...I thought we would sit and chat, maybe drinking some whiskey...with a hot girl in my lap..." Alec was dawdling as much as he could, trying to soften the blow, "uh...what I mean to say Normal, buddy, pal...I've got some urgent business to take care of today, so I can't."  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"I don't care if a fairy delivers these packages, just as long as someone does it! And the goddamn fairy better remember to get signatures."  
  
Sketchy was trying to sneak away behind Alec, but suddenly found himself in front of the annoyed looking Normal with Alec clamping onto his shoulders.  
  
"Sketchy's your man. Now if you excuse me..."  
  
As Alec walked away, Normal turned a glaring eye towards the confused Sketchy.  
  
"...Now you. Could you not cut your hair? It's getting too long...I can't even see your face...how are you expecting to get deliver packages? You'll scare them. And scaring equals running away which then equals NO SIGNATURES..."  
  
As Alec walked over, Max gave him a mean look. But he only gave her his cocky grin. She continued on talking to OC and pretended he wasn't there.  
  
"Hello ladies. What's new in the world of OC and Max?"  
  
"Well suga, I don't know 'bout you, but I did happen to notice that fine sister you were talkin' to last night at Crash. Too bad she not straight." Cindy said, putting her hands on her hips for emphasis.  
  
Alec's eyes widened comically.  
  
"Are you sure OC?"  
  
"If OC aren't straight then that girl sure as hell ain't."  
  
Alec smirked. " Let's just say she was as good as she looked...so what about you OC? Becoming straight anytime soon?"  
  
OC gave him a disapproving look and then whacked him on the arm. Max hit him on the head.  
  
He feigned hurt.  
  
"Ow, what the hell?"  
  
"Stop using girls Alec. It's not nice." Max said simply.  
  
"Not nice? Since when did miss ice queen for eight years running care about being nice?" Alec said.  
  
"Do you even care about anybody apart from yourself? God, all you think about is sex!"  
  
"Hey, at least I'm not constantly a bitch from lack of it!"  
  
"You're so immature!" She said, glaring daggers.  
  
OC held up her hands and slowly backed away.  
  
"Me immature? Wow, I don't think I've EVER heard that one before! Comebacks aren't your thing are they, Maxie?"  
  
"Don't call me that! You better shut up Alec, or-"  
  
"Aw, let me guess, if I don't shut up, you're gonna kick my ass?"  
  
She thought for a moment. "Yeah, something along those lines. Or worse."  
  
"Hardly. You have excuses for everything Max! C'mon. I wanna hear all these mean things you have pent up."  
  
Max quietened but her breathing indicated she was pissed off.  
  
"Fine. First of all, you're a -" Max's beeper stopped the end of her sentence. She looked at it and calmly said, " Its Logan, let's go."  
  
"But I'm going to Anna's house for round three..." Alec whined.  
  
Max whirled around and gave him a half exasperated, half threatening look. Alec sigh, defeated.  
  
She grabbed her denim jacket while Alec followed her, he didn't really find it that surprising that Max controlled her emotions in that little space of time, Manticore liked to focus on the details.  
  
They both stopped when they tried to figure out a way past Normal, who was still grilling a profusely sweating Sketchy about his hair length.  
  
"...I hardly doubt that one trip to the barber's will kill you! I'll take you myself.but if SOME PACKAGES WERE DELIVERED," Everyone in Jam pony turned and stared, "...Then maybe I'll have time."  
  
He spotted Alec and Max trying to sneak off again.  
  
"HEY, what do you to two think you're off to?"  
  
Max and Alec glanced at each other and instantly stood up straighter.  
  
"See normal," Alec started.  
  
"I'm sick," Max stated.  
  
"I'm sick too," Alec coughed.  
  
"A bad sick,"  
  
"She gave it to me,"  
  
"And so I have to go home,"  
  
"See yesterday I was at crash,"  
  
"I can still ride my ninja of course,"  
  
"Some hot blonde was talking to me,"  
  
"I mean, I won't fall off my bike because I'm sick,"  
  
"But then max interrupted,"  
  
"But I am sick, don't get me wrong,"  
  
"Saying she wanted to play pool,"  
  
"I just need to rest for today,"  
  
"So I agreed, by the way, I kicked her ass at pool,"  
  
"At home, by myself, with my bike,"  
  
"And obviously I caught something, because this morning,"  
  
"I might die, because I wasn't allowed to go home,"  
  
"I woke up and I felt like shit."  
  
"Even if I do feel like throwing up right now..."  
  
"And I haven't even decided what I want on my gravestone yet."  
  
Normal looked slightly dizzy from looking at Alec to Max. Alec gave Normal a sympathetic look and helped Max, who was clutching her stomach and pretending to kneel over, out the exit.  
  
The argument they had before was seemingly forgotten because Max smiled once they were out on the street.  
  
"...Nice." She smiled briefly.  
  
He grinned back at her and after getting on their bikes, headed off to foggle towers.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------  
  
"Geez, what took you guys so long?"  
  
Max and Alec both walked into Logan's apartment, noticing that he was still, surprise, engrossed in his computer.  
  
"Sorry. We had trouble getting off work." Max explained.  
  
Logan nodded and suddenly turned into EO.  
  
"Okay, listen...A few months, Asha was tailed for a while because of some unusual circumstances and suspicions, and after confirming she was S1W, the government ages stored the files in a main-frame computer in a facility around sector 12. They're going to arrest her and check out any place she has ever been unless you delete those files immediately. This situation could put us all in danger. The files are located in the main computer, which is on the fifth level. Here's the address."  
  
He handed her a scrap of paper with a scribbled address.  
  
Max and Alec were halfway out the door when Logan said, "And max..."  
  
"...Be careful." He finished while Alec mimicked it with a smirk.  
  
"I think you should teach him some new phrases." Alec offered to Max, while the cool breeze of the coming night ruffled his hair.  
  
"Shut up. He does not say that all the time."  
  
"Yeah he does. I mean, he should just have a button next to his computer with 'and max...be careful' so that he could save his breath."  
  
Despite herself, Max smiled and Alec looked mixed between scared and amused.  
  
"I need a camera, don't see that much...at least not directed at me."  
  
He muttered the last part but Max's hearing heard it and she felt a stab of guilt. She shook it off. Hopping onto her bike, she indicated the space behind her with her head. Alec was his annoying self again.  
  
He gave a cocky smile and pointed to himself miming "For me?"  
  
She rolled her eyes and indicated she wanted him to come closer, curious, he obliged until they were mere inches apart. Despite himself, Alec's heart beat quickened and his grin faltered.  
  
She turned until her pouty lips were practically touching his ear.  
  
He could feel her warm breath tickling him and suddenly thought it was wayyyy too hot in Seattle.  
  
"YES!" She shouted.  
  
Considering that he had super hearing, and that he was taken completely by surprise, he practically slipped and was left slightly sprawled on the pavement, much to the amusement of the laughing Max.  
  
"Very funny." He said, trying to be mad but failing miserably.  
  
Max was still laughing as he picked himself up while gathering the remainders of his shattered ego.  
  
"I thought so," She retorted, still giggling, "C'mon we've gotta get a move on."  
  
He hopped onto the back while Max distinctly heard the words, "Lunatic...sensitive hearing...hard pavement..."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------  
  
They arrived at a very grey, damp looking building. It looked a bit like Manticore and both transgenics shivered at the thought.  
  
There was barb-wire but other than that, the security didn't look too bad. Max parked her ninja a block away from the site, and both X-5's crept towards it. It was now dark and the moon hung luminous in the sky.  
  
The fence loomed before them.  
  
"Bet I can jump higher." Alec whispered with a rakish grin.  
  
"Bite me." Came the reply.  
  
After a small run, both of them cleared the fence without difficulty.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------  
  
Preview of the next chapter...  
  
"Oh my god. How am I ever gonna take a shower? Unless I'm blindfolded..."  
  
Max just laughed. Max's usual expressionless face was transformed into a cocky grin, the look was quite eerie on her face.  
  
"I, on the other hand," Max began, "Am looking forward to taking a shower tonight."  
  
Alec's eyes widened and with a yelp, he smacked her on top of her head.  
  
"Don't you dare...I will kill you!" He fumed, frantic.  
  
"Hey Maxie, calm down. You know, these ARE your brain cells you're killing, so just watch the head, alright?"  
  
REVIEW PLEASE :) 


	2. faerie bread 2

A/N: second chapter :) This chapter is AFTER THE SWITCH HAS BEEN MADE, AND IT WILL ALL BE EXPLAINED IN CHAP 3. This story takes place way before terminal city ever happened, no body knows they're transgenics except for OC and Logan, you get the picture.  
  
Disclaimer: if I really owned this, would I really have cancelled the show? *shakes her head furiously* ...i'm dizzy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
"Oh my god. How am I ever gonna take a shower? Unless I'm blindfolded..."  
  
Max just laughed. Max's usual expressionless face was transformed into a cocky grin, the look was quite eerie on her face.  
  
"I, on the other hand," Max began, "Am looking forward to taking a shower tonight."  
  
Alec's eyes widened and with a yelp, he smacked her on top of her head.  
  
"Don't you dare...I will kill you!" He fumed, frantic.  
  
"Hey Maxie, calm down. You know, these ARE your brain cells you're killing, so just watch the head alright?"  
  
"You will not, and I repeat NOT, be taking any showers or doing any kind of activity where items of clothing are removed while we are in this situation!" Alec yelled at the smirking Max.  
  
Alec stopped yelling and heard the door of her apartment shut.  
  
"Oh shit," He murmured, "OC's home."  
  
He turned to Max, who was also slightly panicking.  
  
"We'll just have to pretend for now, okay?" She said, running her hands through her hair but forgetting it wasn't short and getting her hand stuck in the long tangles in the process.  
  
"Boo? You home already?" Cindy's voice came from the kitchen as she stepped into Max's room.  
  
"Uh, hey OC." Max said, to some extent nervous.  
  
"Hey yourself...how'd the mission go you two?"  
  
"Fine...fine." The two transgenics stuttered.  
  
"Well uh," OC began, raising an eyebrow, "shouldn't you be going home now Alec? Double shift tomorrow remember boo? ...Unless of course you forgot your keys and need to bunk here for the night?"  
  
At the mention of the word 'keys', Max patted her left jacket pocket. Alec just nodded in response.  
  
OC got the feeling something happened tonight but she couldn't quite place her manicured finger on it.  
  
"So, uh, I'll be seeing you tomorrow...early...at Logan's, right?" Alec frowned at Max, her lack of concern quite unnerving to him.  
  
"For what?" Max cocked her head.  
  
Alec looked downright exasperated.  
  
"Oh, oh yeah. THAT...right, Logan's tomorrow. Got it." Max finished, noting that OC was watching this exchange quite puzzled.  
  
After licking his lips, Alec left, nearly asking OC if she remembered to buy milk but deciding against it. The door slammed shut with a bang.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
OC watched as Max looked at her surroundings as if she didn't recognise it very well.  
  
Her expression was hard to read, it didn't seem an expression max would use and Alec seemed much less self-assured tonight, but then again, who knew what was up with those two?  
  
"So what was that all about?" OC asked, curious despite herself.  
  
Max shook herself out of a daze. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"That...that little conversation with the ever 'supposedly' annoying smart Alec."  
  
Max seemed a bit confused but than something dawned on her. Maybe she could use this body-swapping thing to her advantage.  
  
"Do I always complain about him?" Max asked, genuinely interested.  
  
"Do you hear yourself boo? I think you could write a book about the art of Alec's bad habits." OC sat down on top of Max's bed with a 'thump' and crossed her legs.  
  
Max frowned...this wasn't going the way she had hoped.  
  
"But you know, I think I may have misjudged him. He's unbelievably nice, and very hot." Max said, also sitting down on the bed, facing OC.  
  
OC kind of jumped and shook her head, acting like she just hallucinated.  
  
"Uh, um...did I just hear you correctly boo? That you think Alec is hot?" OC's eyebrows were so high they were in danger of disappearing into her hair.  
  
"Why don't you think I- that he's pretty damn yummy?" Max tried hard not to grin.  
  
"Well sure suga. But I don't bat for that team...unfortunately. And what about Logan?"  
  
"He's old." Max was blunt.  
  
Again, OC's eyes widened.  
  
"I'm sorry, is this a dream? Oh, I get it. I'm still drunk at crash ain't I? No seriously, you thought of all this in a single night?"  
  
"Yep. I just hope Alec doesn't kill me in the morning for telling you this."  
  
Max gave a somewhat cocky grin that reminded of OC of...well, it reminded her of Alec...no doubt about it.  
  
Alec swung open the door to his apartment. It smelled musty and he wrinkled his nose in disgust.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
*Thank god Alec keeps alcohol here.lots of it, this is an emergency. I can't believe I'm stuck in his body. This sucks. Just my luck if he has girls calling every hour of the freaking -*  
  
The doorbell rang and Alec nearly jumped out of his skin. He gulped and prayed they would just go away but the doorbell kept ringing and so he was forced to open the door.  
  
A leggy brunette stood in front of him. She was gorgeous, but Alec was still disgusted with.well himself.  
  
*If you get what I mean.*  
  
The brunette gazed at him and smiled, biting her blood-red lips. Her lashes swept mysteries before her green eyes.  
  
Flipping her hair over one bare shoulder, she purred, "Aren't you gonna invite me in Alec?"  
  
Alec stood there momentarily speechless.  
  
*What the hell am I meant to do? Oh shit. Shit. Double shit. I am gonna kill him.*  
  
Before he had time to answer, the brunette strode past him and plopped down onto his couch, her eyes giving him an once-over.  
  
Alec felt self-conscious and looked at the ground, trying not to make eye- contact.  
  
"Alec, c'mon, make yourself comfortable."  
  
"Listen...uh..." He looked to the brunette for help.  
  
"Karen." She said, her tone hardening slightly.  
  
"Yeah, listen Karen..."  
  
*What the hell, I might as well act this out. It's not actually ME making a fool out of myself. *  
  
"I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, we're past tense, right?" He tried to act nonchalant,  
  
"And anyway, I'm not really up for...this."  
  
She flared and her eyes flashed with what seemed like... lost hope?  
  
"What the hell was two nights ago than Alec? You said you liked me!"  
  
"Well... Uh," Alec was a loss for words. She didn't wait for him to finish.  
  
"Asshole." And with that, she stomped out. Slamming the door louder than he thought possible. Alec winced, at Karen's anger, at her sadness and at himself.  
  
*Imagine having to do that every day...don't know how he puts up with it...wait a minute. Why am I feeling sorry for him? He deserves it. Asshole. *  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
Max strolled around her room, quite wary of the fact that 'her' ninja just sat outside, and if she say, wanted to go for a ride, what could Alec do?  
  
OC was already asleep, and unfortunately, without shark DNA, Max needed sleep too.  
  
Resisting the sudden urge to take a shower, she snuggled into the covers of the warm bed, surprised by how much it smelt of, well...'her'.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
Alec sat on the bar stool, with many empty liquor bottles in front of him. He sighed, knowing that it would be nearly impossible to get himself drunk. So with that, and trying to decide how to explain this to everyone tomorrow, he grabbed his jacket and ...distinctly remembered that his bike wasn't in fact, HIS, anymore. Growling, he prepared to go to the space needle.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------  
  
Max opened her eyes to the blurry figure of someone in her room. As the figure became recognisable, she realised it was a very impatient someone. Seeing Max awake, Alec sat down on the bed and poked Max on the shoulder. She grinned up at him while he just glanced sideways.  
  
"Could you hurry up Al-Max?" Alec whispered.  
  
"Okay, but I need to change first..." Max whispered back, mockingly.  
  
"What? No way!"  
  
"You expect me to walk around for, god knows how long in the same clothes? You may not have standards max but I do!"  
  
Alec looked torn, biting his lip, he agreed.  
  
"But you better keep your eyes CLOSED." He warned.  
  
"Don't tell me that you haven't snuck a look Maxie..."  
  
Alec rolled his eyes.  
  
"Whatever you want to tell yourself. And don't call me Max... Okay, from now on, you're Max and I'm Alec. Got it?"  
  
"Yup," Max mumbled while flipping through her wardrobe, occasionally whistling,  
  
"Why don't I ever see you wear some of this stuff?"  
  
Refusing to answer, Alec exhaled slowly, trying to contain his temper.  
  
Smirking, Max coughed.  
  
"Erm, could you leave while I'm changing? A girl's gotta have her privacy."  
  
Max nearly went into fits of laughter at the slowly purpling Alec, but she managed to contain herself.  
  
He stomped out.  
  
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A/N: REVIEWS MAKE THE FAIRY BREAD APPEAR FASTER. 


	3. faerie bread 3

AN: HEY : ) thanks to all of you who reviewed!  
  
My imaginary friends really appreciate it!  
  
Bec...no, Bec, no body wants to speak to you...just, go back to the closet...  
  
*dusting myself off*  
  
Anyway, apart from that, I'd like to apologise for how slow I was to update, but I have two other stories in progress and I really should learn how to juggle.  
  
ENJOY! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------  
  
A good hour later, Alec was breathing very slowly.  
  
*Inhale, exhale, inhale...what's taking to goddamn...exhale...don't get mad...inhale....*  
  
Suddenly, the door opened.  
  
Max stepped out.  
  
*Goddamn, I look good. I mean, what the hell does he think he is doing?*  
  
Max was wearing a soft pink tank top and a short frayed denim skirt. Her hair was let loose and straight while her lips were blood red.  
  
Alec's mouth was gaping. Max smiled.  
  
"See, this is what you cover up...nice isn't it?" Max said as she did a little twirl, making the denim cover her ass tighter.  
  
*That's my ass in that tiny skirt!*  
  
"Look at that skirt! Could it get any shorter?" Alec looked positively astounded, "I find it astounding that you like to wear girlie clothes...can you wear something else?"  
  
Max was pouting in stubbornness.  
  
"No! I don't LIKE to wear girlie clothes, but...let's just say this experience could be eye-opening," She winked at him, "And anyway, I'm pretty sure a skirt's a good change from MY usual cargoes...it is a little tight isn't it?"  
  
Max started to feel the skirt at the back, grinning as Alec's eyes widened.  
  
"GET your hands off that!" He barked.  
  
Suddenly, Alec smiled.  
  
"Where did you learn to put on make-up?" He questioned.  
  
"Hey, hey," Max countered, holding up her arms in defense, "I've slept with enough girls to know the basics of make-up, okay?"  
  
"Yeah right, drag queen." Alec scoffed.  
  
"Just so you know, I did poke myself in the eye with that pencil stuff, okay? Happy?"  
  
Alec laughed, Max surprised at the sound.  
  
"C'mon, let's go already." Alec said, shaking his head.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------  
  
"Okay, so explain to me what happened again?" Logan looked bewildered as he looked from Max, or Alec, to Max, now otherwise known as Alec.  
  
"Again?" Max rolled her eyes in annoyance, "I'm sorry, but are we speaking the same language here?"  
  
Alec glared at her and then turned his attention back to Logan.  
  
"So when we got inside the perimeter..."  
  
----------FLASHBACK------------  
  
They streaked across the grounds with ease, not evening bothering to look both ways.  
  
It had started to rain as Alec and Max both crept up behind guards and knocked them out, they entered by a window up on the fourth floor, which was only slightly jarred open but could be seen by the X-5's.  
  
The corridor was polished and silent, too dark for shadows to be seen by mere moonlight. Pushed up against the wall, they found the stairwell and found that security was at a minimum at this facility.  
  
Somehow, this made Max uneasy.  
  
It only made Alec more assured however, as he practically ran headfirst into a surprised guard.  
  
Alec gave him a sharp jab to the head but it wasn't fast enough.  
  
The guard let out a strangled gasp that bounced off the bare walls and echoed through the silent fifth floor.  
  
Realising that there would be more security on its way, they both decided to ditch the sneaking technique and sprinted towards the room Logan had marked in red on their instruction, trying not to leave wet footprints as they ran.  
  
As soon as they got inside, they heard the voices.  
  
Locking the door, Max urged Alec to hurry.  
  
"Nearly done," He replied, "...Hey, lookie here. What's this?"  
  
"Alec, what the hell are you doing? Let's go already!" Max hissed.  
  
"Aw crap, the computer's faltering...that wire needs to be fixed."  
  
"Here let me do it!" Max whispered, knowing that they only had a few minutes before the guards realised that they were in that particular room.  
  
"No, Maxie.that goes over there..." Alec fumbled with the wires with one hand while he deleted the files with the other, "Alright, we're done."  
  
Max gave Alec a little shove and he gripped on the wire on instinct.  
  
As Max stumbled slightly, her elbow jabbed at the keyboard, emitting a loud, whinny beep from the computer.  
  
The power went out.  
  
--------------END FLASHBACK-------------  
  
"And then what happened?" Logan asked, finding the situation confusing and amusing at the same time.  
  
"We were running and it was pitch-black, I felt kind of strange but didn't think much of it plus I couldn't see a thing and next thing I know, I'm pointing at myself screaming." Max drawled, chewing on bubble-gum.  
  
Logan found it really weird to see Max that nonchalant and uncaring while Alec was being sensitive and...well overall, this was just freaky.  
  
"What else was on that computer?" Logan asked.  
  
"Erm..." Max, squinted, trying to remember, "Oh yeah, it had an untitled file and so I opened it. I didn't see what it was about though."  
  
Alec turned to Max, slightly dazed.  
  
"You opened an untitled file?" He scowled, angry, "That is probably why I'm in this mess!"  
  
Max blew a bubble in response.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'll find out what I can about any new projects the government agencies have been running, but for know, just act normal until we get this sorted out."  
  
Alec turned to him.  
  
"Thanks Logan." He said sincerely.  
  
They both got up to leave and Logan resisted the urge to groan out loud when he heard Alec swearing while Max tried to trip him.  
  
This was just way too confusing.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------  
  
"An hour late! Does it actually take an hour for you people to realise that you have a job you have to be at?" Normal bellowed as Alec and Max as they entered Jam pony.  
  
Max was attracting lots of attention.  
  
All male heads turned towards her, some catcalling and whistling in appreciation.  
  
Some even attempted to make conversation.  
  
Alec found this very amusing and bit his lip to keep from laughing himself.  
  
Then he realised he didn't want random guys hitting on her, so on sudden impulse, Alec swung an arm around Max's slim shoulders.  
  
Most of the noise in Jam pony stopped.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Max whispered.  
  
Alec bent low enough towards her ear and whispered through clenched teeth, "Sweetie, we're going out from NOW ON so that you don't have guys following you everywhere, okay?"  
  
Max frowned, and then it quickly turned into a smile.  
  
"I thought they hated each other!" Some girl said to her companion.  
  
"So you do think I'm looking hot!" Max was triumphant.  
  
Alec rolled his eyes, steering Max towards OC and Sketchy.  
  
He turned to Max.  
  
"I don't need you to confirm it, I'm always looking hot." Alec said.  
  
Max started to laugh, while Alec clamped one hand over his mouth as if he'd been bitten.  
  
"Oh my god. I'm beginning to sound like you!" He said, horrified.  
  
"...Beginning to sound like who?" OC asked as she and Sketchy joined their conversation.  
  
"Nobody." Alec answered, watching, as Sketchy appreciatively looked Max up and down.  
  
Max was beginning to look uncomfortable and crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
Alec was trying to stifle a laugh but then a thought occurred to him. He gave Sketchy a punch to the shoulder, in a friendly, stop looking at 'my' body like that you pervert, kind of way.  
  
"What was that for?" Sketchy asked, staring confusingly at Alec.  
  
Alec shrugged. "I don't think Max..er, appreciates you..." He racked his brain for an excuse for his strange behaviour, "Oh, never mind." He said, exasperated with himself.  
  
"Alec," Max said, gazing at him adoringly, in a very mocking way, "You look so cute with your hair like that!"  
  
As Alec gave his deadliest glare, Sketchy gave her a strange look. "He always has his hair like that."  
  
OC blinked repeatedly. "Did she just squeal?" She asked Sketchy who couldn't even muster up an answer.  
  
"Well," Alec said, forcing his voice to be light as possible, "I think Max is ridiculously hot. As in...so ridiculously hot its positively ridiculous."  
  
OC looked from Alec, to Max, then back again. "What has gotten into you two?" She demanded.  
  
Max smirked, which gave everyone watching their little show a scare, reminding them of a particular someone that smirk was just so familiar to.....  
  
"Alec, I want you bad."  
  
Alec gritted his teeth. "No honey, I want you more..."  
  
Everyone surrounding them was gawking in bewilderment at this strange spectacle.  
  
"Talk about tough love." Someone commented.  
  
It had turned into a full blown 'who can embarrass who' scheme.  
  
"I remember the time I sang lullaby's to you from your balcony!" Alec was shouting.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Max shouted back, grinning, "What about the time I showed up starkers at your apartment?"  
  
Normal had come over to see what the racket was about. "Hello? What are we, at a dinner party? You people have jobs to do! Bip, bip, bip!"  
  
Everyone ignored him.  
  
Alec slowly clenched his fist. "Remember the time I trusted you enough to confess I still sleep with a night-light?"  
  
"What about when I jumped Normal?"  
  
Everybody was silent and Normal turned red about the same time Alec did.  
  
Normal walked away, busying himself with organising the packages while Alec grabbed Max.  
  
"Outside." He hissed with venom.  
  
Max just smirked and allowed herself to be dragged pulled outside by a fuming Alec, muttering about how he was going to kick her ass.  
  
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AN: I would love to hear what you thought. Hopefully they were nice thoughts. Non-violent, so to speak.  
  
So review if you please, and I do mean PLEASE REVIEW! In the most desperate way imaginable but I'm just acting smooth as not to scare everybody away.  
  
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
  
It'll only take up a second of your time, and if not, you need to learn how to type faster! *mwah* 


	4. faerie bread 4

AN: Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated, so sorry about that.  
  
THANK YOU SKITTLES FOR THE REVIEWS! VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.  
  
I'm sorry this story is so confusing for you to read, what with the people in other bodies and stuff....just bear with me!  
  
ENJOY! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Alec yelled furiously, as soon as Max and him were safe in the covers of an alley.  
  
"Uh...adjusting?" Max said cockily, eyebrow raised.  
  
"You adjust in the privacy of my..I mean, your home!" Alec argued, barely able to suppress his anger and embarrassment.  
  
"Just because you jumped Normal..." Max said, leering.  
  
Alec clenched his teeth. "I was in heat!"  
  
"Nevertheless..." Max retorted.  
  
"You are impossible!" He cried.  
  
"Aw," Max said sympathetically, "You know you love me."  
  
"I'd love to beat you to death." Alec said dryly.  
  
Max made a puppy-dog face. "Be nice."  
  
"I am." Alec growled to her smirking face.  
  
"Oh, by the way, with the night-light thing? That was so unoriginal." Max informed Alec, unable to keep from chuckling.  
  
"I can't handle this anymore!" Alec yelled to no one in particular.  
  
"Well, like it or not, we have to go back to work." Max said, indicating at Normal who was obviously wanting to have a word with them, standing outside jam pony.  
  
Alec sighed. "I can't wait til this is over." He muttered.  
  
Max grinned. "Well, I, for one, am loving it!" As she tailed behind Alec, who was dreading speaking to OC, Sketchy, and Normal.  
  
Not to mention everyone else at Jam pony.  
  
"You would." Alec mumbled under his breath.  
  
Max just gave a sweet smile and practically skipped the rest of the way.  
  
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"Okay, boo, what was that little display of er..." OC looked to Sketchy for the right words.  
  
"-Affection?" Sketchy offered.  
  
OC rolled her eyes. "Well, whatever the hell it was."  
  
Alec looked for a way out of explaining that he was in fact, Max.  
  
Then he decided just act like nothing was wrong, which was the completely opposite of the truth.  
  
He sighed. "Um...Lover's...er" He looked to Sketchy for the right words.  
  
"-Tiff?" Sketchy said.  
  
Alec clicked. "That's it. Thanks..buddy."  
  
"No problems," Sketchy said modestly, "I've got to go cos Normal thinks I left ten minutes ago...But make sure you're at Crash tonight, I wanna go pick up some honeys."  
  
He gave Alec a knowing look.  
  
Alec tried to hide a grimace behind the grin he was returning Sketchy.  
  
"Listen, I gonna go talk to Max. I've gotta blaz-ummmmmmm, cya."  
  
He walked away, looking somewhat awkward.  
  
He didn't have that swagger that was usually there, but instead, as OC looked towards Max, she was oozing it.  
  
"Max, I think we need to go see Loga-"  
  
"No can do," Max said cheerily, "Got packages to deliver."  
  
Alec raised an eyebrow. "You do realise," He whispered, "That you are never going to be able to get onto your bike."  
  
Max raised an eyebrow in return. "And why is that?"  
  
"That skirt will rip."  
  
"Revealing YOUR ass to the world." Max said smugly.  
  
Alec gritted his teeth, this was the most ridiculous situation he had ever gotten himself into!  
  
"I don't think so. We're heading to foggle towers, even if I have to drag you there."  
  
"Fine," Max huffed, as they left Jam Pony without even notice to Normal, "But don't expect me to talk."  
  
"You never do." Alec rolled his eyes as a greasy looking businessman walked past Max and not to subtly checked out her butt.  
  
Max looked indignant. "Ew. How old was he?!"  
  
Alec hid a smirk. "Oh, I would say in his early seventies." He replied innocently.  
  
Max just looked disgusted. "That was so..." She trailed off.  
  
"So...?"  
  
"...Degrading."  
  
Alec gave a genuine laugh at that.  
  
Max gave an involuntary shiver. "I want a pair of jeans." She declared finally.  
  
Alec rolled his eyes. "Thank god." He said, briefly looking up.  
  
"Um, question." Max said, staring at the bike.  
  
Alec raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Do I get to ride this bike anytime this year?"  
  
"It's my bike," Alec protested, "You can just sit behind me."  
  
"Ah," Max said, wagging a finger in Alec's face which he pushed away stubbornly, "But technically, it's MY bike. I want to ride."  
  
"Over my dead body." Alec growled.  
  
"Well, technically, that's over MY-"  
  
"Just shut up already," Alec said, exasperated as he handed the keys over, "But let's get one thing straight-"  
  
"-Yes, chief?" Max said, mock saluting.  
  
"-Okay, TWO things straight," Alec continued, glaring, "One, don't call me chief, and two, this is a one time deal. Don't think just because of this freak episode we're having and you are lucky enough to annoy me to a point where I'm letting you ride my ninja, that I'm ever going to let you near her again."  
  
"But see, I actually own this bike, so..."  
  
"....don't even go there." Alec gave her a pointed look.  
  
Max decided not to push her luck and took the keys from an irritated Alec.  
  
He watched with a tinge of amusement at Max trying to clamber onto the bike.  
  
It took a good ten minutes before she was able to do it without any embarrassment.  
  
It was clear to Alec that she wouldn't be wearing skirts to work anytime soon again, but hopefully, Logan had found a cure for this crazy body swapping thing.  
  
"Would you rather walk?" Max asked, as the bike purred to life and she glanced at Alec still tapping his foot on the sidewalk.  
  
"Bite me." Alec hissed.  
  
"I hope that offer still stands after all this." Max said, raising an eyebrow as Alec climbed on behind her.  
  
"You are SO lucky you're driving." Alec muttered. Max caught it and smirked.  
  
They zoomed past a Normal who did a double take as he recognised his two workers who were meant to be doing their job.  
  
"We're going to get fired again," Max exclaimed, then sighed insufferably, "And then I'll have to be the one to get our jobs back..."  
  
"Once a golden boy, always a golden...girl." Alec replied.  
  
Max craned her neck around slightly so Alec could hear over the engine noise.  
  
"So, are you telling me that if we don't get switched tonight, we're going to have to rely on YOUR charm skills?" She said, acting horrified.  
  
"I can be charming." Alec said defensively.  
  
"Dear god, I'm going to be unemployed forever....." Max muttered.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
"Guys, I think I have something..." Logan was busy fiddling with some strange looking equipment on his table.  
  
Max slowly backed up, eyeing the devices on the table. "No."  
  
"No what?" Alec asked, confused, "You don't even know what he's talking about."  
  
"I saw that," He pointed to a small black box with buttons and other things on it, "And then I saw that," She pointed at Logan who rolled his eyes, "And then I said No."  
  
"How very elaborate of you." Alec rolled his eyes as well.  
  
"Okay, so I haven't figured out what exactly the government is planning to do with this technology, but I DID manage to find out that your 'unnamed file'-"  
  
"-Whoa, why mine?" Max asked.  
  
"Because you opened it, moron." Alec muttered. Max sneered at him.  
  
Logan coughed. "The unnamed file was meant to be transferred to another security facility-"  
  
"-With actual security this time?" Max butt in.  
  
Logan decided to ignore him...er, her. "-but obviously the technicalities of it were still being dealt with. There were bugs. The program was not meant to make the two participants switch bodies....at least I don't think."  
  
"Finally he speaks the truth." Max murmured.  
  
Alec shot her a death glare.  
  
Max just raised an eyebrow and smirked.  
  
"According to my understanding, the program wasn't actually a program. It was a formula for a chemical that had only recently been tested on animals."  
  
"Then how did we switch?"  
  
Logan scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well, I'm not exactly sure, but apparently the X series have memory chips. Like computers, and when you-"  
  
"-Grabbed onto the wire at the same time, we switched," Max yawned, "Way ahead of you pops. Let's go to the part where we fix it, eh?"  
  
"What was it actually designed for?" Alec asked, curious.  
  
Logan sighed, glancing at Max annoyingly. "Well, believe it or not, the chemical was designed to read minds. You gave the chemical to one person, a few minutes later, they can read someone's thoughts, given the right DNA coding of the person of course, for a full hour."  
  
"And this was done on...animals you say?" Max raised an eyebrow, "I'm not even going to ask."  
  
"They tested for brain waves." Logan told her.  
  
"From that, to this," Alec indicated himself, "I don't understand...i mean, I understand why they would want something like that. Get information out of unwilling participant, no torture involved...."  
  
"Aw shucks, I'll have to do the Iron maiden another time." Max grinned.  
  
Alec gave her a look of utter irritation and Max wisely decided not to comment anymore, at least, for the time being.  
  
"Well, as I said. The formula had only been tested on animals, and considering the memory chips in your brains, the fact that Alec is a clone of your brother, provides grounds, however unstable, for the switching."  
  
"But you have come up with a solution?" Alec asked hopefully.  
  
"Only temporary," Logan said regretfully, "I'm working on finding out exactly what the formula was made out of and how your memory chips work...its really quite strange how they absorbed the formula so you didn't have to drink anything in order for it to work."  
  
"Me. Need. Beer. Now. Any switch is a good switch. Hurry up." Max ushered.  
  
"Did you just graduate from caveman academy?" Alec asked, annoyed.  
  
"Valedictorian." Max answered proudly.  
  
"Thank you so much Logan." Alec gushed, as Max mimicked him from behind disdainfully.  
  
"Yadda yadda yadda, let's switch back so I can get outa...here," She considered, "That didn't really rhyme, did it?"  
  
"You're pathetic." Alec said grumpily.  
  
"You just called yourself pathetic." Max pointed out smugly.  
  
"Logan, can we get this over and done with? Even if it's temporary." He was on the brink of begging.  
  
"You love being me, admit it." Max said, yawning.  
  
"I'd so love to hit you right now, if you weren't a girl." Alec said, taking a menacing step towards her.  
  
"I'm not a girl," Max huffed, "And you're just jealous."  
  
"Of what?" Alec asked, incredulous.  
  
"The fact that I looked hot today."  
  
"Well, technically, I looked hot today." Alec corrected.  
  
"Not in the clothes you wore to bed you didn't." Max retorted.  
  
"I swear to god," Alec almost screeched, holding two fingers a millimetre apart, "I am this close!"  
  
Max pretended to whimper. "But I'm a girl." She pouted, sniffling.  
  
"Goddamn gender discrimination." Alec muttered.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Logan tried to block out their ramblings, the faster this was over with, the better.  
  
They'd battled government conspiracies, whacked out members of the X series, crazy psychopaths of various cults trying to kill them...but this was by far the scariest thing Logan had ever seen.  
  
What kind of apocalypse did the government unleash on them?! He thought, horrified as Logan listened to the sounds of two chairs, a table lamp and his microwave being broken as the minutes wore on as he fiddled with the machinery.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" Alec's unmistakable voice rang out from the kitchen.  
  
A pause.  
  
"Alec broke your microwave!" Max's chirpy voice rang out.  
  
The brief sound of someone choking.  
  
Oh god, Logan thought to himself as he quickened his actions, don't find the wine cabinet, not the wine cabinet-  
  
"Hey, what's this?"  
  
Logan squeezed his eyes shut and bellowed out that it was ready and please do not touch the wine...don't they realise that its pre-pulse?  
  
Too late. Max came back and wiped at her mouth, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Alec just shrugged apologetically.  
  
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AN: REVIEWWWW!!!!!  
  
(please, of course.) 


	5. faerie bread 5

AN: Okay, let's just get this straight, a lot of you have been asking me to call Alec, Alec, even when he's Max and vice versa..but I think that would just confuse the heck outta a lot of flamingo's, including myself, and I wrote it like it is because its what everybody ELSE sees them as that matters.  
  
THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS. You're gorgeous, all of you, really you are.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------  
  
OVER AN HOUR LATER  
  
The second they switched, Max let out a whoop and ran for the bathroom.  
  
Alec just went in search again of the liquor cabinet.  
  
Logan tried to fend him off but Alec evaded his defences and managed to get his hands on some pre-pulse Chardonnay.  
  
Five minutes later, Max came out looking happy, but wiggling around a lot in her clothes.  
  
After Alec himself had gone to the bathroom, and then a good fifteen minutes later, they thanked, well, Max thanked Logan and they left.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------  
  
"Thank god," Max muttered as they exited foggle towers, "I was so sick of being you."  
  
"This is only temporary," Alec smirked at her, "Hopefully this will last until I get laid tonight."  
  
She glared at him. "And you felt the need to share that information with me...why?"  
  
He shrugged offhandedly. "Just don't be surprised..."  
  
"Surprised about what?" Max asked, alarmed.  
  
He winked at her. "If you wake up and find yourself in my bed having gotten kinky with-" He didn't even get to finish his sentence as Max pinned him up against the side of a building.  
  
"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." She said menacingly, "If that really happens to me, I will beat the living man outta you when we're through all this switching."  
  
He just smirked. "Easy there, Ale-Maxie, you can't be so rude to your boyfriend."  
  
"Excuse me?" Max asked, an eyebrow raised.  
  
He slung an arm around her shoulders. "This is your doing, you can't blame me."  
  
"If you're my boyfriend, what are you doing 'getting kinky' with other girls?" Max asked pointedly.  
  
He thought for a moment. "Drat."  
  
"Your mouth will always get you in trouble." Max snorted, weaselling out of his arm.  
  
"Although this time it was my hands," He leered at her, "Would you li-"  
  
"-Shut up."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------  
  
"Hey, boo, took you guyssss long enough." OC said, her voice slurring slightly.  
  
"Hey," Max said, preparing to sit down, only to have Alec scoot in behind her and take it.  
  
She whacked him up-side the head in annoyance.  
  
"What?" He asked innocently, as Max took the chair next to him.  
  
"At least things are back to normal." Sketchy mumbled.  
  
"...Oh god, Normal." OC said, narrowing her eyes as if to focus.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oh god," Alec took a gulp of beer, as he looked upon the approaching figure of their boss.  
  
Max chuckled.  
  
"Well, well, well," Normal said, coming to the table, "You two had a nice day of not coming to work?" He asked, looking at Max then to Alec, then quickly back to Max.  
  
"Normal, buddy," Alec said earnestly, "Max had a family emergency, you understand." He coaxed.  
  
"What kind of family emergency?" Normal asked suspiciously.  
  
"My brother BEN is dead." She stated, staring at Alec sweetly. The sentence didn't come out as smoothly as she would have liked.  
  
"I'm sorry." Normal told her.  
  
"Don't be." Max answered icily.  
  
"Okay...." Normal said, giving her a funny look.  
  
"And I needed to give her a ride." Alec cut in.  
  
"But that was Max's bike...."  
  
Alec cursed inwardly. "Um...yeah, but she would never let me ride it."  
  
Normal nodded. "Alright, but if you two leave work like that again, especially you Missy Miss," He said, glancing at Max who was looking furious, "You're fired."  
  
"Thanks Normal, m'man, would you like a drink?" Alec asked.  
  
Normal leaned in closer and Alec shifted in his seat uncomfortably.  
  
"That would be nice." Normal said.  
  
"....But on second thought, wow, listen to this music!" Alec said enthusiastically, "I bet you're a killer on the dance floor, am I right?"  
  
Normal blushed. "Well, I did win the-"  
  
Alec practically shoved him away, as Normal had been inching closer every passing second. "That's great! Go dance!"  
  
"Aren't you coming?" Normal asked.  
  
"I'll be there in a second." Alec said, taking another huge gulp of beer.  
  
This satisfied Normal who started dancing, making sure he had a clear view of Alec, who was getting scared.  
  
Max burst out laughing and Alec shot her a look.  
  
"Boo, what the hell is he doing?" OC asked, propping her elbows up on the table and glancing at Normal.  
  
"Dancing." Alec answered grimly.  
  
"Aren't you going to join him?" Max cooed.  
  
Normal started to beckon for Alec, bopping his head along to the music at the same time.  
  
Max shook her head in amusement.  
  
"Max, Max..." Alec said, nodding at Normal but speaking out of the corner of his mouth, "Sit on my lap."  
  
"What?" She asked.  
  
"Sit on my lap!" He demanded quietly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Please?" He begged, "I'll owe you a favour...I don't wanna dance with him...please?"  
  
She shared a look with OC but complied with Alec's wish, because he had looked like he was on the verge of running.  
  
She got up and plopped herself down on Alec's lap just as Normal came striding over.  
  
Alec wound his arms around her small waist and pretended to act surprised.  
  
"Not coming to dance, Alec?" Normal asked, the tinge of hopefulness more than evident in his voice.  
  
Alec indicated Max. "Sorry, Normal. Ladies come first," He winked, "You know what I mean."  
  
"Max," Normal said, "Could you let Alec dance just this one song with me?"  
  
Max noticed Normal's glare and was about to move when Alec tightened his grip on her.  
  
She turned to give him a pointed look and he gave her a sharp pleading look in return.  
  
She sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Normal," Max said regretfully, "But I haven't spent much time with my Alec today." She pouted.  
  
Normal started to tug on Alec's sleeve. "C'mon, oh, I love this song, Max! Spare him for the love of god."  
  
Max shrugged simply. "Can't."  
  
"She's lost without me." Alec added helpfully.  
  
Max was smiling but she jabbed his side discreetly with her elbow.  
  
"Ow." He muttered.  
  
"When did you two start going out anyway?" Normal asked, his suspicious side taking over.  
  
Max hesitated.  
  
"A week ago." "Three days ago." They replied at the same time.  
  
Normal's eyes narrowed.  
  
Max gave a bubbly laugh. "Time just flies when you're in love!" She covered up.  
  
Normal took this brief lapse to try to tug Alec away from Max again.  
  
Alec, virtually terrified, in turn held onto Max tighter. It soon became a tug-of-war.  
  
"You. Aren't. Even. In. Love. With. Him!" Normal said, punctuating each word with an insistent tug of Alec's arm.  
  
"Now Normal," Alec gulped, "I don't really think-"  
  
"-Let go!" Normal glared, pulling.  
  
Max huffed, not liking to lose, especially to Normal. "I don't think so-"  
  
"-Or I'll-"  
  
Max, at this point seriously fed up, turned right around and kissed Alec.  
  
The tugging stopped.  
  
The kiss soon became passionate and Max soon lost track of everything around her.  
  
Alec was astonished, to say the least, when he found himself kissing Max.  
  
She was a good kisser too, her lips sweet not demanding as he returned the pressure and urgency she showed him.  
  
He sighed inwardly when he realised she tasted a tinge like cherries.  
  
"Um, guys?" OC looked at Sketchy, who was gaping at the sight in front of them.  
  
They knew that they were going out, but didn't really think they were being completely serious until they saw this.  
  
"Hello?" OC called out, Max and Alec kept right on kissing.  
  
"GUYS!" OC yelled.  
  
They stopped, Alec's hair mussed due to the fact that Max was running her fingers through it.  
  
Max's lips swollen and she lazily blinked in OC's direction.  
  
Alec's cheeks pleasantly flushed.  
  
And his hands stopped sidling up Max's stomach.  
  
He instantly removed it.  
  
"He left three minutes ago." Sketchy cut in.  
  
"Who?" Alec asked, still slightly dazed.  
  
"Normal." OC rolled her eyes.  
  
Max seemed to have finally realised her position as her eyes widened and she practically jumped off of Alec, flushing red.  
  
"I have to go....er, home. Home....I'll see you guys later." She managed to get out.  
  
"Okay boo." OC yawned.  
  
Alec sat there still a bit out of it....who knew Max could kiss like that? He suddenly smiled.  
  
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AN: Review please : )  
  
Adieu my darlings! 


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